Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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