She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize