i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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