So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
