I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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