Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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