thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
