I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I know her cup size but not her name....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
