Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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