Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
