i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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