She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
