Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
