I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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