He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
