We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
