someone get that fucking seahorse.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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