so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
two words: eviction party
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
