i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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