tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
