That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
