What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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