I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
