a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
