u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
