I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
