Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
