let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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