Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
PANTIES FOUND
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
