I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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