Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
