Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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