Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
