she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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