It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it glows. i had to have it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize