I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize