I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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