my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
