She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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