and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
