Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize