the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
