Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
