If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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