I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
