I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
