turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
