I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
