I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize