you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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