I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
