Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
