She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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