Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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