I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
