You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
