You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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