Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize