If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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