it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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