I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
