Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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