My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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