You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
