I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
