Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize