it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
