brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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