He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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