He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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